Becoming No Ordinary Woman
"I am no ordinary woman. My dreams come true" Daenerys Targaryen
This blog post is a little different. It is all about ME. I hope you will indulge me just a little this week as I would love to share my personal story of being lost and found and to share the backstory of how and why I became a coach and how my brand No Ordinary Woman become a reality…
It is hard to believe that 20 years ago this month, I started my training to become a Life Coach. It wasn’t even a really popular ‘thing’ back then, it was just something I was guided to do.
When I walked into the room to begin my training, I had a familiarity of the basics of coaching. I had been training other people on how to use the GROW model of coaching however the focus of coaching had always been about improving performance.
At its most basis, coaching is about asking questions and deeply listening to the responses. It enables you to raise awareness in the individual and to generate responsibility for them to take action and move forward.
Over the six months that I trained to become an accredited Life Coach, I experienced lots of personal coaching and I practiced coaching others to refine and deepen my own skills. Being coached enabled me to truly appreciate the power in this seemingly simple practice of asking questions and listening.
It took me six months of hard work and practice to achieve the accreditation, and I loved every minute of it. I achieved a distinction in the practical element of my coaching, and this meant the world to me. Coaching along with my gift for emotional intelligence and intuition became my superpowers and I knew that in the future I wanted to lead my own coaching business.
Shortly after qualifying, I lost my Mum to cancer. My family and I were devastated by her loss, and I took time out to spend time with my family and for us all to heal. I threw myself into my corporate career in leadership and personal development and whilst I was able to undertake some coaching within my day job, I did not feel the time was right to jump into my own business. My dream got put on hold.
Over the next few years, my career flourished until I hit a milestone birthday. In 2011 I turned forty and all of a sudden, I found myself feeling disillusioned with the field of learning and development. I had been travelling the country, living out of a suitcase. I was not spending enough time with family and friends. I had no clear idea what I wanted for my future. I had been endlessly single, and I felt completely burnt out.
In December of 2011 I left my job and I took a couple of months to take a step back and recover. Within weeks of stepping away from my corporate job that had left me feeling depleted, I met Rob. We had a whirlwind romance (this is quite a story in itself!) and within 14 months we were married, and I relocated to the Lake District.
Rob and I decided to try for a family, recognising that as we were both 41 at this time, it was not necessarily going to be straight forward. We agreed that I would take some time off to really think about what I wanted to do next with my career and to remove stress to give us the best chance of having a family.
The next six months were probably the hardest of my life. I had gone from being incredibly busy and successful in my career, to living in a place where I didn’t know anyone and telling myself “There must be more to life than this”. I felt lonely, lost and extremely frustrated.
I did endless online searches trying to find the answer to the question “what is my purpose?”. I got nowhere. No-one seemed to have the answer. I slowly fell into a depression that I could not shift. I completely forgot about the power of coaching.
Out of the blue, a leadership development job was advertised in a local company, and I applied. I knew I needed to go back to something that I was good at and that was familiar. I applied and was successful and, in the December of 2013, I went back to a corporate career.
I felt a renewed energy and passion for my previous career, and I soon made friends and life started to feel really good again. I felt through my work in leadership, I was making a difference again.
Rob and I were working hard in our careers and still trying to have a family but with little success. We decided to try IVF and went into the process with so much hope but sadly it was unsuccessful. As the years moved on, our hopes and dreams of becoming parents started to fade.
In 2016 we decided to do something different. We decided to walk the Coast to Coast (a 200 mile walk from the west coast of the UK to the east coast. I didn’t know when we set off on that walk, just how transformational it would become. Over the course of that twelve day walk, we averaged about 18 miles per day. I developed a significant foot injury that caused me immense pain, but I was determined to finish. I knew I had to see it through.
You have a lot of time just to be with your own thoughts when you do a walk like that. The routine of putting one foot in front of the other moves you into a meditative state. I started to reflect on the question of purpose again. For the past three years I had enjoyed the corporate work I was doing but I had set my heart and soul on becoming a mother and it was clearly not meant to be. If that was not my purpose, what was?
On the last night of the walk, I sat with Rob and told him that I wanted to stop trying for a baby. We held each other, cried and let that dream go. It was one of the most powerful decisions I have made.In hindsight I have learned that sometimes it is necessary to let something go in order for something more powerful to emerge. This pattern has repeated in my life.
There is so much peace when you finally feel able to let go of something that is not for you. Now I needed to find the thing that was! I could feel in every cell in my body that I had a purpose to fulfil. I just needed to find what it was. I was restless and excited at the thought of finding a new path.
Over the next three months, my intuition went into overdrive. I started to connect back into my belief in the power of the Law of Attraction and suddenly I was receiving intuitive nudges and synchronicities all of the time.
Out of nowhere it finally landed. NOW was the time for me to step into my power as a coach and to fulfil the dream I had led for so many years to have my own coaching business. NOW felt like the perfect moment. I kept hearing NOW, NOW, NOW on repeat. Suddenly the name came into my head from nowhere.
No Ordinary Woman was born.
I knew I wanted to use the gifts I have to help other women who were experiencing the same feeling of restlessness as me. I knew I was not the only woman asking herself the questions:
Is this all there is?
What if I was meant for more?
What is the difference I am supposed to make?
What is the legacy I am supposed to leave in this lifetime?
Who am I and what am I meant to do?
I knew it was time to lead myself, to step into my personal power and create a movement of purpose led women with big dreams and a desire to fully live a life that feels extraordinary. I wanted women to have the courage to unlock their potential and say YES to their lives and not settle for less than they desired.
I started to think about purpose again. I realised that purpose is not a ‘thing’, it is a way of being. I started to explore what purpose really felt like for me and I developed my own philosophy. It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that purpose is about the job we do. It is absolutely not (well sometimes it can be!). It is this thinking that makes so many people feel like they have failed because they have not made the impact they had hoped through their career.
In my experience, purpose is achieved through:
· Knowing who you are at your core and living in alignment with your values. Being authentically you. Noone else can deliver that.
· Making a difference in some way – big or small. Feeling like you add value in this lifetime.
· Having fun. Life is meant to be enjoyable.
I realised that when we operate from the above principles, it makes the extraordinary achievable and it gives space for us all to leave an imprint that only we can.
Since 2017, my coaching skills have evolved exponentially and I have become a transformation coach. I no longer focus on helping people improve their performance. I help the people I coach to see the limitless potential that I can see in them even if they don’t see it yet. I believe deeply in the potential of the women I coach.
I describe my coaching as a walk.
I care about the women I have the privilege of coaching. Together we define their big dreams and their desired destination. Through each coaching conversation we become aware of their strengths and the self-imposed limitations that hold them back from becoming all they can be.
I help them navigate the difficult terrain that can feel bumpy and offer them a helping hand when they need it. I cheer loudly and celebrate every one of their milestones and successes. I walk alongside them through it all as they move toward their destination of an extraordinary life. I help them realise that they had everything it took all along and that they were already No Ordinary Woman in their own unique, wonderful way.
20 years ago, I trained as a coach, and it had been the most transformational journey of my life. I feel so blessed that I get to be the coach for so many extraordinary women. Coaching has been an endless learning journey and my coachees are a mirror for my own evolution and growth. I learn so much from them. Coaching has given me so much and I am profoundly grateful for the title ‘Coach’.
It has given me the opportunity to speak in front of audiences.
It has given me the opportunity to coach women internationally and create a global ripple effect.
It enabled me to share my own life experiences and become a bestselling author.
It gave me my best friend (see last week’s blog)
It saw me through the most challenging times in my own life.
It gave me perspective.
It gave me my purpose and mission for this lifetime...
“To help 100,000 purpose led women to lead themselves in the direction of their biggest and wildest dreams and create extraordinary lives.”
This mission lights up my soul and fuels my life.
I will never be the finished article. There is still so much learn and I can't wait.
I dedicate this blog to the 'No Ordinary Women' I already know and the ones I am yet to meet.
PS
If you would love to know more about the coaching I do and how I could help you walk in the direction of your dreams, you can book a complimentary discovery call with me HERE.
I am also offering a 20% discount on all of my coaching packages to new and existing clients for the next 20 days in celebration of my 20 years as a coach.
