Navigating the In-Between
"I am seeking for the bridge which leans from the visible to the invisible through reality"
Rob and I have just returned from a magical few days in Finland. We have waited 12 months since booking the trip to actually going and it was worth the wait. I love the snow, and it was our first snowy holiday together. We allowed ourselves to fully embrace our inner child and spent time making snowmen, tobogganing and attempting to make snow angels. If you did not see the reel of my epic fail, you can see it here.
I always keep an eye out for recurring themes in my life. I believe these themes are messages or nudges from the Universe and there are always messages in them or important learning for me.
The theme that kept recurring over the time we were away was the theme of being in ‘no man’s land’. Let me explain…
Our flight to Finland took off from Liverpool without any issues. It was due to be a short 3-hour flight landing in one of the smallest airports in the world. About 30 minutes before we were due to land, the pilot announced that we would be landing in Norway as the weather at the airport in Finland was not good enough for us to land there. So, we slowly descended and landed in Norway. We were not able to get off the plane and had to sit in our seats on the airfield.
I always try to see the positive in situations and joked with Rob that at least we could say we had ‘visited’ Norway. He told me that technically we had not because we had not passed through customs therefore, we were in no man’s land. For those of you who have watched the film The Martian, I knew exactly how Matt Damon felt and for the hour we sat on the tarmac, I felt like a pirate!
After an hour or so, we took off again and despite it being touch and go as to whether we could land in Finland or be diverted again, we finally touched down at the cutest and most efficient airport I have every visited (Enontekio).
Where we were staying was on the border of Finland and Sweden. The hotel staff told us that if we were to walk down the hill and cross the bridge, we would literally be walking into Sweden. They also told us that within a mile of where we were staying the time difference changed as Sweden is an hour behind Finland.
I had to experience that. So, on Tuesday Rob and I decided we would walk to Sweden. We set off down the hill from the hotel and before long we came across the bridge that connected Finland and Sweden. At one end of the bridge there was a sign saying welcome to Finland and at the other end a similar sign saying welcome to Sweden. The bit in between (the bridge) was no man’s land. I started to see a pattern. It was also a lot of fun to say we had time travelled!
So, why am I telling you this?
When you make a decision that you are truly going to go for your dreams, it is rare that they happen overnight. There is a period between choosing the dream and realising the dream. I call it the in-between (or no man’s land!). This can be the most challenging time. You know what you desire but it might not be your reality yet. It is a bit like standing on a bridge between Finland and Sweden.
I have set in motion some of the biggest dreams of my life and yet they are not here yet. I know they are coming; I know they will happen, but I still need to navigate the in-between. We live in a world where so much is about instant gratification. If we want something, we can pretty much get anything we want at the touch of a button. Our biggest dreams don’t always arrive in the same way. It can take patience.
One of the dreams that Rob and I hold is to go travelling. There is so much of the word to see and we want to experience it. Neither of us had a gap year and we want to explore, experience different cultures and learn more about this beautiful world we call home. We know what our dream is, and we have made it really, really clear AND we know it is not the right moment yet. It will come.
Here are some of my strategies for navigating the in-between:
Have a clear vision - I get really clear on the vision of what my life will look when my dream has become my reality. I mean getting really clear. I engage all my senses. I imagine what I will hear, see, taste, touch and smell. My vision becomes so clear, it is almost like I am there already. I also have a vision board that clearly depicts the life I am creating.
Talk about it – I tell people all the time that Rob and I will be going travelling. I honestly believe that I have spoken about it so much now that everyone around us knows that this will become our reality. It is just a matter of timing. People have even started to ask us about the details of our plans or say things like “it is really happening then”. Yes, it is! The words we use matter. When I am taking about travelling, my brain is listening and taking note. My Reticular activation System (RAS) kicks in and starts to identify things that might of interest to me such as books or programmes about travel.
Put yourself in the energy of it – There is something so powerful about connecting with the energy of who you will be when your dream manifests itself. Last year, Rob and I went on a secret trip. We paid a company to book the trip and we did not know where we were going until we got to the airport. It was so exciting and put us in the energy of being adventurers and travellers. We ‘pre-plan’ so much of our life, and this was a great way to see how we will navigate not knowing all the answers and how we will cope with it when it happens.
Bring it closer by taking micro actions – I think this is the most fun part. Start to get creative and think about all the little actions you can take that bring your dream closer to you. If you dream is a big one, it can feel overwhelming so break it down. What is the one step you can take today that brings it just that little bit closer? Imagine if you took one small step every day? How much further would you be in the direction of your dream this time next month? It all adds up.
Assume the identity of the person who is living your dream – Essentially this is ‘acting as if’. Like most people, I have collected a lot of stuff over the years. I have more of everything than I need. More clothes, more toiletries, more books…the list goes on. I have really shifted my behaviour over the past few months to be more reflective of someone who will be living a nomadic lifestyle and carrying her life on her back. I buy very few clothes. I rarely buy books now unless they are a Kindle book. I have started to declutter our house. I am becoming far less sentimental about ‘things’. It is preparing me for what is to come so that I can be ready for it. How can you 'act as if' your dream has already become your reality?
Don’t put your life on hold, be grateful for this moment – It can be really easy to fall into the waiting trap. We get so focused on the dream that we forget to enjoy the present moment. Our lives are meant to be lived. There are so many beautiful moments in the in-between it would be a shame to miss them. Until we go travelling, I have created a list of small things I want to experience so that the journey is as magical as the destination. For example, I have my 2025 live list. It is an idea shared by one of my coaches and it really helps with the in-between. I have a list of 111 things I would like to experience this year. They are not big, they are simple, but they will all add up to a fabulous year. My list includes things like making a new dessert I have never made, playing crazy golf with Rob and having a picnic on a mountain.
Trust and know your dream is on its way – This can be one of the hardest tactics to implement. It can sometimes feel like your dreams are still a long way off. Having trust and utilising the other strategies above really helps to feel like you are moving in the right direction and crossing that bridge from reality to your dream. The more you can tap into trust the more likely it is that your dream will unfold. Sometimes your dreams don’t arrive on your timing. Sometimes they take a bit longer than you would like. What I do know from experience, is that when I have tapped into trust and I have released the need for my desires to arrive on my timetable, I have never been disappointed. If you were able to completely trust that your dream would be your reality, what difference might this make to you right now?
I truly believe that you are worthy of every dream you hold in your heart. I don’t believe you have dreams that are not possible for you. They sometimes show up in a slightly different way, but they are your dreams for a reason.
Be patient. There is beauty in the in-between. It is your training ground to become the woman who can hold the desires of your soul.
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