The Midlife Calling
The Midlife Calling
"Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path"
“Help, I think I am having a midlife crisis!”
This is one of the most common phrases I hear as a coach.
In my experience both personally and as a coach to other women, I have come to realise that for some of us, there is a moment in our lives when we receive a gentle nudge. It comes in the form of a feeling.
A feeling of restlessness. A niggling feeling that just won’t go away. A sense that there is more that you should be doing however most of us don’t know what that ‘thing’ is.
I got ‘the feeling’ when I entered my forties. I was lucky to have had a fabulous career working in various corporate companies and helping thousands of people to develop their leadership skills and to realise their full potential.
I loved what I did. Until I suddenly didn’t.
It crept up on me until suddenly I realised that I was no longer enjoying what I was doing. I had spent most of my thirties travelling the country, living out of hotels and living out of a suitcase. I wasn’t getting to see my family or friends. I was feeling permanently exhausted, and I had no space in my life for a romantic relationship. I was feeling pretty burnt out.
Even though I was aware of ‘the feeling’ that I needed to change direction, I ignored it, and I started to feel really empty. I was getting frustrated. I knew something needed to change but I ignored it until I couldn’t anymore. The Universe intervened on my behalf, and I lost my job.
At the time I was devastated however it gave me the gift of time and space. The opportunity to think, recover, reconnect with family and friends, look after my health and to consider what I really wanted for my life.
It turns out this was a huge turning point in my life. Within the next 18 months, I had met my soulmate, got married and relocated to the Lake District. It was exciting and for a while I was able to ignore the restless feeling that kept telling me I was meant for more.
Why did I ignore it? I ignored it for a lot of reasons. I found myself saying
"Who am I to think I am meant for more?"
"I have a great life; I should be happy with what I’ve got!"
"I don’t know what ‘more’ I want to do"
"What is my purpose anyway?"
"It will go away…it’s just a midlife crisis"
And there it was. The thought that this was a midlife crisis and that I should just suck it up.
It took me almost 5 years to finally realise that the restless feeling was my intuition speaking to me and it had a lot to say.
And then came the beautiful reframe. This wasn’t a midlife crisis; it was a midlife CALLING
That restless feeling is there for a reason. It is a reminder from your soul that you have a purpose to fulfil and that you have more to give.
Not everyone will get this feeling it, but I also know that I am far from alone in experiencing this.
So why does it seem to hit during midlife?
Midlife tends to be the time when things stabilise. You have probably carved out and made progress in your career. You might have raised a family, and they are becoming more independent and therefore you have more time on your hands. You are likely to have more stability in relation to income.
You have the nice job, the nice family, the nice house, the nice car, the nice holidays. You are settled.
For some people, this feels like perfection. For others, this is when the restless feeling hits and your mantra becomes “there must be more to life than this”.
The opportunity that presents itself is almost a crossroads.
You have the opportunity to ignore the nudge and choose to settle with what you have already achieved. This is perfectly acceptable, and a lot of people choose this. It’s a great place to be.
OR
You have the opportunity to explore the potential that is still within you and leverage the restless feeling to continue to evolve.
There have been many models of human potential. Probably the most famous one is Maslow and the hierarchy of needs. In this model he talks about the needs for humans to evolve throughout their lifetime based on 5 levels of need. You can’t evolve beyond a level until the need before it is satisfied. The needs are:
Physiological – shelter, food, water
Safety and security – employment, health, property
Love and belonging – friendship, family, community
Self-esteem – confidence, achievement, recognition
Self-actualisation – purpose, meaning, potential
This is what I believe the midlife calling is all about.
Many people find themselves in the lucky position of having reached the level of self-esteem. Life feels good. They will read this blog, and it will not resonate. I think that is a beautiful reflection that they have achieved peaceful satisfaction with their life. Beautiful.
For others, the restless feeling and the frustration is the gentle reminder from their soul that there is more for them if they choose it. It is self-actualisation calling to them. It is there letting them know that they have a purpose and are here to make a difference.
You might be reading this and shouting “YES “at the screen. “Finally, someone who understands what I am feeling. I thought I was going mad”.
Oh, my darling, you are not going mad. You are having a midlife calling. Join the club!
If this has resonated with you...
It took me years to learn want I now know about helping to navigate the midlife calling and part of my purpose is to help other women to find their path easily. It does not need to take years of soul searching!
I believe that your purpose is driven by four things…
Fun – we are meant to live a life that feels fun. Rediscover what fun is for you and do more of it.
Be YOU – rediscover what makes you, YOU. Your true soul and personality has probably been hidden by layers over the years. We have to subtly adapt to roles, jobs, expectations. Now is the time to rediscover who you are so that you can show up as your most authentic self.
Make a difference – You are here to leave an imprint that no-one else can. You are here to make a difference. This does not have to be on a grand, global scale. Little ripples can create big waves.
Continue to learn – When we stop learning, we stop growing. You are on a mission to live your fullest potential. Never stop being curious.
Your call to action
If you know another woman who needs to read this, please share.
How to work with me...
If you would love to explore more about your purpose and uncover the big dreams in your heart, why not book a discovery call with me? My coaching pathways have helped hundreds of women just like you to connect with their purpose and achieve their potential. You can book a FREE discovery call using this LINK.
I wish you a beautiful journey
