What If?

"What if I fall? Oh my darling, what if you fly?"

The words you choose are important. They leave clues to your mindset and your inner beliefs.

The quote above sums up beautifully the power of our words and how we use them.

I have coached hundreds of women and playing with the concept of ‘What If” has helped many of them to uncover the big, wild dreams they hold in their heart AND the fears that can lie under the surface and hold them back.

I want to share a personal story with you about how this has played out in my life.

In my forties, I became completely disillusioned with the pathway I found myself on. I had fallen out of love with my career in personal development which had been my passion for 20 years. I had met and married Rob and our life together was beautiful however we had been dealing with the painful challenge of infertility. On the outside my life looked perfect but inside I felt completely lost. I didn’t know what I wanted from this next chapter of my life, and it felt lonely.

We decided to walk the Coast to Coast, a walk of about 200 miles from one side of the UK to the other and this walk became the catalyst for my next chapter. Each day we would walk approximately 20 miles and in the stillness of the walk, concentrating on putting one step in front of the other, the walk became a meditation. My body was conditioned to just keep taking every new step which freed my mind to wander.

On that walk, amid the beauty of nature, I allowed my heart and soul to start exploring the ‘What Ifs?’.

What if I was not meant to become a parent, and my pathway was something else?

What if this was going to be my most exciting chapter yet?

What if I could realise my dream to create my own business?

What if my story could help other women achieve their dreams?

What if I allowed my vision to become so big it scared me a little?

What if I allowed myself to truly desire the things contained in my heart and soul?

What if I embraced all of the potential of who I could be?

The list went on.

By the time I reached the end of that walk, I was exhausted and inspired in equal measure. The “What ifs?” had lit a spark in me that was about to become a flame. I came home more motivated that I had been in a long time and got to work on developing the ideas for the business I wanted to create. I embraced all the energy that the power of ‘what if?’ had created in me and before long, I had a vision for a brand that literally lit up my soul. No Ordinary Woman coaching was born.

And it is at this part of the story where the “what ifs” became tricky.

Suddenly I found I was doubting myself. The ‘What ifs’ took on a different feel and before long I realised the momentum and energy had turned to fear. The powerful words that had ignited my mission were also threatening to destroy it. My mind went into overdrive...

What if I don’t know what I am doing?

What if this is the wrong choice?

What if I am not successful and I embarrass myself?

What if people laugh at me?

What if people judge me for wanting to do more at this stage of my life?

What if I am too old to start a business?

What if I am not good enough?

I am sure you can imagine what this did to me levels of confidence and success. The truth is it stalled my dreams. It made me play small for a long time.

These two words are incredibly powerful.

They can MAKE dreams, and they can BREAK dreams.

The quote I used at the top of this post sums this up so perfectly.

“What if I fail? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”

‘What if’ can be powered by inspiration or it can be powered by fear.

When we use ‘What if’ to fuel our inspiration, we give ourselves permission to explore our big dreams, and we challenge ourselves to dream even bigger. We open up potential and possibility and we feel alive.

When we use ‘What if’ to fuel our fears, we choose to play small. We let our insecurities take over us and we retreat into the safety of our comfort zones. We bury our dreams, and we settle. We open up the energy of doubt and regret for what might have been.

“What if?” thinking will always spiral. Whether it spirals positively until your dreams become epic or it spirals negatively, and you fears keep you stuck. The power to choose your ‘What if?’ is yours. The power is in the mindset and pathway you decide to explore.

In my own lived experience, I have come to realise that blending ‘What If” with “and I will be ok” minimises the fear.

When you trust that no matter what everything will be ok, you limit the fear. 99% of the time our negative ‘What Ifs’ never materialise. You literally limit your joy by anticipating the worst-case scenarios.

It is time to change that.

If you really want to LIVE this life, it is time to make your ‘What Ifs’ count.

Here is a challenge for you…

Find yourself 10 minutes.

Focus on something you know you desire to do.

Now start a positive 'What If' spiral.

Start thinking about all the possibility, potential and magic this will create in your life when it becomes your reality

Head (mindset) – What mantra will help you maintain this energy?

Heart (emotions) – Where are you feeling this in your body? Know that you can recreate this feeling in your body in any moment. When you think of your desire, tap into this feeling in your body too and dial it up a notch.

Higher self (inner wisdom) – Picture your life when this desire is fulfilled.

Hands (take action) - Keep reliving that image over and over again. When you clean your teeth, use this time to step back into this vision.

I can't wait for you to fly. 

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