When the mind spirals
Catastrophising –
"when a person fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely,
even when it is not!"
This week I found myself repeating and old but familiar pattern. I noticed I had fallen into the spiral of ‘catastrophising’.
This is how it went…
Over the past few weeks, I have been speaking with someone about the possibility of a project we were desiring to work on together. We had had some great conversations. We were both really excited about the potential of working together. I felt excited at the prospect, and I celebrated its potential.
We were due to have another call to move the project forward and unfortunately a set of circumstances meant that we were unable to have the call as scheduled.
And then things went silent.
Last week I was out on my early morning walk (which is when I usually tap into my intuition and higher self), and I suddenly realised that over the past week my head had spiralled, and I was suddenly telling myself that…
“The project was not going to come off”
“I was an idiot for letting myself get excited about it”
“I wonder what I said or did wrong”
“This always happens!”
The list went on.
Luckily, I had a call with my coach later that day and we explored this as a topic. Through that conversation I realised I had fallen into an old pattern of ‘catastrophising’. I had not even realised I was doing it. All of those ‘worst case’ thoughts had not suddenly landed on Friday morning. They had been a slow burn over the course of the week, and I had not realised I was doing it. I only noticed it when I had allowed things to spiral and get out of control.
How many times do you find yourself in this situation? We can go from 0-100 in a matter of seconds and suddenly we are immersed in a worst-case scenario that is probably doing nothing for our nervous systems!
We all do it. It’s a common mental habit but it doesn’t have to control our lives.
So, why do we do it?
Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to focus on potential threats. It wants to keep us safe—this is a holdover from our cave dwelling days when we were programmed to seek out danger. This helped our ancestors survive in the worst of circumstances however in our modern-day life it leaves us dwelling on worst-case scenarios even when we're safe. Not always helpful.
Control and Fear of the Unknown: When we feel uncertain, we try to prepare ourselves by imagining outcomes, often negative. This gives us a false sense of control, but it’s draining for our mind, our body and our soul. Consider how many times you have imagined and prepared yourself for the worst-case scenario only to find that the reality is nowhere near as problematic. We put ourselves through the stress unnecessarily.
Stress and Overwhelm: When we’re already anxious or under pressure, our brains are more likely to catastrophise even the smallest of issues. Perhaps somebody doesn’t acknowledge you and before you know it, you are examining all the ways you have offended them when perhaps they genuinely didn’t see you. Scenarios like this can put us in a continuing state of fight or flight and we live on adrenaline which exhausts us.
Ultimately it is our brains searching for problems to solve – even if the problems don’t exist yet.
So how do we spot it and more importantly how do we stop it?
The way I noticed the spiral this week was because I felt flat. I hadn’t really wanted to go for my walk, and I was really struggling to decide on a topic for my coaching call later that morning which was unusual. As I explored this, I realised there was this drama scenario playing out in my head.
Your feelings are a huge clue to what is going on in your head. I had no reason to feel down and yet I did. As I walked, I paid more attention to the feeling and realised I was feeling anxious, disappointed and low all because I had allowed my thoughts to run wild about the perceived problem with this exciting new project.
If you are feeling anxiety, overwhelm or disappointment, it’s time to take a look at what you are thinking about. Are the stories you are telling yourself true or are they imagined? The more you tell yourself the same story, the easier it is to become a belief. Really question how much of what you have been imagining is true. Could you prove it in a court of law? In most cases I am willing to bet that you have allowed your imagination to run riot and that your problem-solving brain had gone on a rampage.
Strategies for stopping the spiral
1 - Catch It Early – be aware of your thoughts
The sooner you recognise you are caught in the catastrophe spiral the easier it is to interrupt it. When you spot it, pause and take a deep breath and remind yourself that your brain is getting carried away and just problem solving something that has not happened yet. Use a mantra to get back in control. You could use something like “I am safe. All will be ok, and this too shall pass”.
2 - Challenge Your Thoughts: Is This True?
Once you are back in control of your breathing and have paused the spiral, try to reframe the pattern by asking a different type of question. You can teach yourself to reframe this unhelpful mindset pattern by asking the question “What’s the most likely outcome?” This helps shift the focus back to reality.
Our thoughts are just stories that we are telling ourselves. We get caught in the negative “What if?” cycle. You can change this by asking yourself better questions. Flip the “What if?”. For example, instead of asking “What if the worst outcome happens?”, try asking “what if the best outcome happens?”. It alters your state and puts you back in control.
3 - Take Action: Focus on What You Can Control
Often, the catastrophe cycle comes from feeling helpless. When you are in the grip of it, focus on small, practical steps you can take instead of obsessing over uncontrollable outcomes. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to move forward?”. Putting things back on a practical footing will help remove the anxiety and help you take back control.
4- Zoom Out: Put Things in Perspective
I often use the metaphor of a handheld torch. When you are standing directly in front of a wall and put your torch on it, all you see is a tiny patch of the whole wall because you are stood too close. When you take a few steps back you can see the entire wall. Perspective is everything!
When you’re caught in a spiral, everything feels urgent and massive. It is like you are stood directly in front of the wall and can only see one tiny part of it. You are experiencing this moment right now. If you step back you will get to see the bigger picture, Ask yourself “Will this matter in 6 months or a year?”
There have been so many moments in my life that have felt all consuming at the time and yet a few months on I have sat back and wondered why I let it consume me. I am sure you can think of similar moments in your own life.
Everything is temporary. In a short time, you won’t even remember that you were worried about it. Don’t rob yourself of today’s peace by worrying about what has not happened yet
5 - Build a Calm Ritual: Ground Yourself
When your mind spirals, the body follows with physical symptoms like tension or fast breathing. I noticed that I was in the spiral because my body let me know. I didn’t want to go for the daily walk that I usually enjoy; I felt ‘off’. The irony is that my daily walk grounds and connects me. It helped me tap into what was going on.
Think about what brings you peace. What rituals do you have to bring you back into peace and to ground you? Build a list so that you have easy strategies to tap into next time you recognise you are in the grip of a spiral.
In summary
During the coaching conversation I had about this last week with my coach, I recognised I had been in the grip of the spiral. I set an intention to let it go and that trust that if the project was meant to be, it would happen. I asked myself a better question; “what if I have not done anything wrong?”. This felt really empowering. Sometimes is not YOU, it actually is them!
I also reminded myself that I manifest most powerfully when I desire, let go and trust. With those simple reframes I felt peace, I felt in control, and I was released from the spiral.
Guess what?
This week, the person got in touch with me and explained the delay was because they wanted to open an even bigger opportunity for me.
Lesson learned. Thank you, Universe ;-)
P.S One of the areas I focus on with my coaching clients is how to master their mindset. If you would love to explore how we could work together to help you master your mindset and create the life you crave you can book a FREE discovery call with me by clicking HERE